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Talk:Cannonball/@comment-6186062-20130806133632/@comment-6186062-20130806165413
Well, there is this guy I met almost two years ago when I repeated Grade 8. He had to repeat Grade 8 too btw. We had to sit next to each other on the first day and for the whole term at each class. First, I found it very awkward because I didn't know him. After a while, we finally talked. I was bored so I talked to him. This sounds weird but we were talking about video games. I could understand him because my little brother plays the same games he played. Then, we were talking about personal stuff like family, school, about each other etc. He always made me laugh and we always talked. But then I started to have feelings for him. So one day, after a very long time of thinking, I told him. He said he had a girlfriend in Spain (he's half Spanish) and then we kinda talked and then he walked away. He promised not to tell anyone and I'm glad he didn't, until Grade 9. I still remember that day, I have that day constantly in my mind. It was so awkward and I still wish I never told him. Because, after that, he never sat next to me ever again. He became distant everytime I talked to him. When I asked why he was so distant, he became mad and said he didn't want to talk to me. We fought about it a lot and sometimes we reconciled (during the term we had art class, we had to sit next to each other, so we still had some nice talks). I still remember the last time he was nice to me and that was during gym, still in Grade 8. After that, it was only fighting. Summer, I missed him a lot because he was in Spain. I swear I never cried so much about a guy before. I kept thinking about him, I was so distant to everybody, almost didn't eat the whole summer (I almost had an eating disorder according to the doctors). I was so depressed that time, not only because of him, but also because of school and my dad. I once tried to commit suicide, but I didn't cause my sister caught me. But back to the guy, I realized my heart litterly hurt and he was the first guy I really had feelings for. I had some crushes before and a boyfriend, but he really did touch my heart. I realized I actually loved him and at the first day of Grade 9, I told him. But then we had another fight and he even hurt my hand and there was blood... He didn't even care. We still had fights the rest of the year and one day at Grade 9 sportsday, that was the limit. We had the most biggest fight we ever had. Everyone saw and after that, I went to the bathroom with my friends. I cried sooooo much I even couldn't breathe. I was sooo upset, I just had that feeling of killing myself again (I didn't btw) After that we never spoke to each other again. Now it's summer and he's in Spain of course, but I still think about him. Even yesterday night I cried in my sleep. I miss our friendship sooo much and I hate how our situation is now. Everyone tells me to move on and I still have support from my friends. I hope Grade 10 is gonna be different and that I'll never speak to him ever again. He really mentally destroyed me, but I'm gonna be better. <3 xx